When you want someone to care
                          as much as you do.....
 Rev. Judith L. Guasch, M.Div.
                          Wedding Officiant

Serving S. Central PA, MD DC
                           (717) 222-9173 
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When things go wrong

But the Ring Bearer Wet Himself!

                            What to Do When Things go Wrong…


            So, the flower girl decides to sit down halfway up the aisle, right in the middle of the processional, and refuses to move.  Maybe the ring bearer didn’t listen to his mother who told him just before the ceremony “try to go one more time!”   The Unity Candle blows out, the flowers wilt, your mother calls you by your sister’s name during the Parents’ Blessing…. these are all examples of the small things that can go wrong on your big day. 


            But, even more importantly, these are also some of the things that give you opportunity.  When they happen, pause, then CHOOSE your plan of action.  By that I mean, choose how to handle them.  Choose your reaction, as well as your actions.  You can let them upset you and turn you into a raving lunatic, or you can laugh them off and let them become the “Remember when?” stories in the years to come.  


It is important to remember that in all these incidents, there is a human element to consider.  The poor little ring bearer is most likely in tears having wet himself.  Do you get upset that your pictures are ruined, yelling and screaming at your sister-in-law for not “making” him go? Or do you offer the little fella comfort and understanding and pose him so he is behind the church railing in the photos, and no one is the wiser to his situation?  Remember, those little things that go wrong are only a flash in time as time itself goes.  However, the relationships you have with loved ones lasts a lifetime.

           I tell every couple "I promise you, something WILL go wrong on the day of your wedding!   However, if you don't make a big deal about it, no one will ever know!"   Most people do themselves a big disservice by fussing and throwing a fit when something goes wrong.  Because what people remember is NOT the incident which sparked the fit, but the fit itself.  They will remember how nasty the you were, or how unkind your words to the three year old flower girl were.  That will be a bigger stain on your day, than a flower girl playing with the petals in the aisle during the ceremony.  She's CUTE!  You throwing a tantrum is NOT!

            So remember, w
hat really matters on the day of your wedding is NOT all those little details that some couples stress endlessly about.  What DOES matter is that you are marrying the love of your life!  Stay focused on that, and laugh off the rest!

            Not only do I give this advice, but we lived it with our daughter's wedding in April 2013.  Read my blog about the FIRE five hours before her ceremony.